There is no Part 2..

Jeremiah 29:13, The Message
“When you are serious about finding me, and want it more than anything else, I will
make sure you are not disappointed.”
Let me tell you a bit about how I got here(the love part) in the first place.

This is part one.
I go to a small Christian school. Every Tuesday and Thursday mornings we have chapel. There is always something to be entertained by, whether the speaker, musician, or twitter feed via #AUchapel. The brought India to my mind, was a day that several students and faculty talked about a missions trip to Calcutta, India. Of course I have heard of India before and had seen one or two Bollywood movies (however, just as all the movies made about the US are not a true reflection of our country, I can’t bring myself to believe that these are a true reflection
of theirs either). But this was the first time I had heard about India in a way that moved me I had heard about the utter destitution of the slums. I had seen the tears roll down the cheek of a man who had held a boy who had very little hope and even less of any idea of normalcy. Something inside me changed that day, and I know that this is a generic thing to say but I literally cannot
think of any other way to say it. Something in my heart, perhaps a part I had given up on, or more likely an area that I had been scared to love with before became awakened. India started to inhabit my thoughts more and more. I cannot tell you how many books I have read, how many articles I have skimmed, how many people I have talked to about this country that I can hopefully one day call home.

Injustice is happening all over the world, that I know for sure, but as I started to study the injustices in India, my heart became so heavy that at certain moments it became hard to breathe. I read a beautiful book by Naomi Zacharias called The Scent of Water about many
of her experiences traveling, several of which were about my beloved country. She described it as a country that was filled with the most beauty you could ever imagine, and the most heartbreak.
I had decided from that day in chapel that India was something I wanted, no, NEEDED to pursue. There is a little voice inside my head that sometimes pops up when I hear people say “God put it on my heart”. It is a questioning voice, an often cynical voice that asks “did God really put that there or did you just want it so badly, you changed your voice to His?” Until this point over a year ago, I don’t know if I could have ever said that God put something on my heart. But he did with India. Not only was it on my heart, but on my mind, my journal, my prayers, my pleas, my lips, and the ears of practically every person I came into contact with. Through a few letdowns, the misunderstanding of many, and the overwhelming promise of the One, I received hope And eventually, I received a dream come true.

Falling In Love

When you fall in love for the first time, it’s like magic. One day you’re just looking at this person who may or may not be your future and then out of nowhere…BAM, you’ve fallen so hard and you have no idea how. And, what’s even more beautiful is that you can’t bring yourself to care. You’re so insanely happy; you can’t imagine what life could be like for you without them. It’s a happiness that fills the entirety of your being, from your toes, to every hair follicle on your scalp, to every ridge of your fingertips. Without even knowing it, you’ve given your heart completely to someone, something so much bigger than you could have ever dreamed. A thing called the first love.
I know exactly how you feel. I fell in love for the first time a little over a year ago. My heart has still not been able to silence it’s passion for this one that I love. But the one that captures my heart is not the usual kind. I cannot hold it in my hand or kiss it goodnight. I cannot spend hour upon hour talking to it or hearing a clever reply or calming laugh. I cannot look into
its eyes and have it gaze ever so lovingly back. These are all things that we see on the silver screen, things that we read about in books or even things we have experienced ourselves. But for me, my love is of a different nature completely. As of today, I am not even sure they know I exist.
Though we haven’t yet had the opportunity to meet in person, I cannot deny that my heart beats in a way it did not before. My head sores with the thought of it. My feet ache for the chance to run to it, arms open, ready to embrace the one that I have come to love so dearly. And in 1 day, I will finally be able to. I have my plane tickets, I have my passport. My clothes are all packed, and my goodbyes have almost all been said. You might ask, how all of this is possible and I am not sure that I should be the one to tell you, for I am not any more certain than you. All I know is that, for the first time in my life, the Spirit has called me, and I have not once looked back in anxiety. I have not questioned or hesitated. I have simply accepted the love that was put into me, the heartwarming and heartbreaking love for the country of India.